LINDSAY WINCHERAUK
  • LINDSAY
    • LINDSAY PAGE 1
    • 2: COMING
    • 3: IMAGES
    • 4: 6 PHOTOS + SOME WORDS
    • 5: BRAIN DROPPINGS
    • 6: DINNER DATE
    • 7: THE LAB
    • 8: SING
    • 9: TIME + PEOPLE + THINGS
  • DRIVING IN REVERSE
    • DIR: AUTHOR Q + A >
      • DIR: REVIEWS
      • DIR: ABOUT THE AUTHOR
      • DIR: CONTENTS
      • DIR Preface
      • DIR: WHO'S IN THE BOOK
      • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? >
        • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? CANADA
        • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? USA
        • DIR: SIGNED COPIES
      • DIR: WIN A COPY
      • LINDSAY: EVENTS 2021 >
        • LINDSAY: 2020
        • LINDSAY: 2019
        • DIR: 2018
      • DIR: ORDER MEDIA REVIEW COPIES
      • DIR: WHAT'S NEXT
    • DRIVING IN REVERSE: SNAPSHOTS >
      • PAGE 1 >
        • PAGE 2
        • PAGE 3
        • PAGE 4
        • PAGE 5
        • PAGE 6
        • PAGE 7
        • PAGE 8
        • PAGE 9
        • PAGE 10
      • PAGE 11 >
        • PAGE 12
        • PAGE 13
        • PAGE 14
        • PAGE 15
        • PAGE 16
        • PAGE 17
        • PAGE 18
        • PAGE 19
        • PAGE 20
      • PAGE 21 >
        • PAGE 22
        • PAGE 23
        • PAGE 24
        • PAGE 25
      • DIR CLIPPINGS >
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 2
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 3
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 4
  • GLUE
    • START
    • BEFORE FACING
    • CHAPTER 1 >
      • CHAPTER 2: IMPROBABLE
      • CHAPTER 3: GLUE
      • CHAPTER 4: WAKING
      • CHAPTER 5: BALANCE
      • CHAPTER 6: ENDING
      • CHAPTER 7: REWARD
      • CHAPTER 8: SPIN
      • CHAPTER 9: 155
      • CHAPTER 10: ACTION
    • CHAPTER 11: LOVING >
      • CHAPTER 12: BIZZARO
      • CHAPTER 14: MUM
      • CHAPTER 15: STRESS
      • CHAPTER 16: HOLD
      • CHAPTER 17: JIM
      • CHAPTER 18: ODE
      • CHAPTER 19: CLEAN SLATE
      • CHAPTER 20: A SHIRT'S TALE
    • CHAPTER 21: BREAKING >
      • CHAPTER 22: DOTS
      • CHAPTER 23: GAY BAR
      • CHAPTER 24: DOTS 2
      • CHAPTER 25: trish
      • CHAPTER 26: CLOSURE
      • CHAPTER 27: denial
      • CHAPTER 28: PUBLIC OFFICE
      • CHAPTER 29: BERT
      • CHAPTER 30: RITCHIE
    • CHAPTER 31: LOOSE ENDS >
      • CHAPTER 32: DISSEMINATION
      • CHAPTER 33: MAYBE
      • CHAPTER 34: LAUGH
      • CHAPTER 35: HERE
      • CHAPTER 36: WHERE ARE THEY NOW
      • CHAPTER 37: COMING
  • D. SAUCE
    • A: OFFER >
      • B: UNPACKING HISTORY - BROUGHTON
      • C: UNPACKING HISTORY - ASHEVILLE
      • D: A LOVE STORY
      • E: HEADING EAST TO ADVENTURE
      • F: HAROLD COURT WASN'T ALWAYS A HEARTLESS PRICK
      • G: PENELOPE + THE VEILED TREE
      • H: JARROD COURT - AN ODDLY GENUINE DUCK
      • I: ARMY LIFE
      • J: SHADOW PEOPLE
      • K: BOTTOM
      • L: LACY + TOMORROW - BAR HOPPING
      • M: BELINDA BLOWS A FUSE
    • N: UPRISING >
      • O: THE UNDERBELLY
      • P: TOXIC LOVE
      • Q: WHO AM I?
      • R: PLANNING THE PLAN
      • S: NEFARIOUS-ITY
      • T: GRIM REAPER
      • U: THE EYE OF THE STORM
      • V: COUP D'ÉTAT
      • W: COUNTDOWN
      • X: BLIND APATHY
      • Y: DIORAMA
      • Z: GOODBYE
    • a: closure >
      • b: sleep comes easy
  • 60
    • A 60-YEAR-OLD MAN RUNNING IN FLIP FLOPS >
      • COMMENCE >
        • 1. bible study >
          • 2. small talk
          • 3. social media
          • 4. amy schumer
          • 5. root canal
    • A 60-YEAR-OLD MAN WALKING >
      • 2021 VIRTUAL WALK >
        • 2021: i resolve
        • 2021 VW: January
        • 2021 VW: February
        • 2021 VW: March
        • 2021 VW: April
        • 2021 VW: May
        • 2021 VW: June
        • 2021 VW: July
        • 2021 VW: August
        • 2021 VW: September
        • 2021 VW: October
        • 2021 VW: November
        • 2021 VW: December
      • 2020: MOVEMENT COVID-2020
      • A GOAL WAS SET
      • SASKATOON
      • WALKING HOME
      • STROME
      • WALKING HOME PART 2
      • AMAZING STATS
      • STORYTIME PAGE 1
      • STORYTIME PAGE 2
      • 100 WORDS OR THEREABOUT
      • SCOTTY LARIN
      • GETTING PERSONAL
      • YOU GOTTA EAT
      • WE CHANGED
      • SIPS + FOOD OF THE WEEK
      • THE BONEYARD
      • WORDS
      • WE'D MAKE A PERFECT TEAM
    • A 60-YEAR-OLD MAN INTERPRETS THE BIBLE >
      • 1. GENESIS
  • VIDEO
    • QUICK RANTS
  • i think
    • ONCE UPON A TIME... >
      • LAUGH >
        • C1: PSA + COMFORT ZONE + CLIPBOARD...
        • C2: MARATHON + GARAGE SALE + TATTOO
        • C3: TRUMP + SAN JOSE + GUNS
        • C4: CYCLISTS + BRIDGE OVER + HAPPY 1st...
        • C5: MASTURBATION + PENIS PICTURES + LOVE MAKER
        • C6: CAT LADY + WHAT ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING + MY TATTOO
        • C7: HAND TEDDIES
        • C8:
        • C9:
        • C10:
      • ARC
      • MAYBE WHEN I HAVE GRANDCHILDREN >
        • C1: VANCOUVER MED
        • C2: GENERAL POPULATION
        • C3: BUCKET LIST
        • C4: NEXT OF KIN
        • C5: MONDAY WITH BERNIE
        • C6: PSA - HAPPY PILLS
        • C7: JEFFBO
        • C8: ALTHOUGH I AM CAUCASIAN
        • C9: YOU HAVE A GIRLS NAME
        • C10: LET THE GOOD + BAD FOLLOW CLOSELY BEHIND IN THE BAGGAGE CAR
      • POUTINE THE BOOK >
        • Poutine Pre-Drippings
        • Important Note
    • ME: AREN'T YOU LUCKY >
      • DARE TO DREAM >
        • HAUNTED FROM THE GRAVE
        • THE SPECIALISTS
        • FIRST TIME
      • do i look like a senior - a story >
        • Seed's Life: 1-5
        • 2 DEAD – 3 INJURED – LIFE PLANS: CANCELLED
        • 2016 WAS
    • HUMANITY + RACISM >
      • COVID-19: PSA - THE IDES OF MARCH >
        • DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA USERS
        • ARE WE THIS FLAWED?
        • kissa tanto
      • Blind Lady + Pants + Chicken + Mikes a... >
        • Just Don't Steal + I'm Not Chinese When I Drive
        • Panhandlers
        • ABAR
      • The Art of Human Interaction >
        • A CLIPBOARD PERSON MAY HAVE...
        • 24 HRS: A SHIRT'S TALE
    • WTF >
      • BLACK SHORTS + THE DISSEMINATION OF SOCIAL MEDIA - C1: HOT LEGS >
        • C2: OVERDOSE
        • C3: TRANSITIONING
        • C4: PENIS COOKIES
        • C5: SCRATCH and SNIFF
        • C6: DEMON CHASER
        • C7: DEMON CAUGHT
        • C8: REBIRTH
        • C9: FHCK
        • C10: PURGATORY
    • LIFE - HACKS + OTHER STUFF >
      • SMALL TALK
      • PONDER THIS
      • Random Thought or Suggestion
      • Seed's: Life Tip #1
    • 24 HOURS VANCOUVER >
      • 24 HRS: A SHIRT'S TALE >
        • 24: NO EXCUSES FOR ALL THAT
        • 24: DUMPED? GET SET FOR A NEW LIFE
        • 24: THE ‘SPARK IS DISAPPEARING—WHAT DO YOU DO?
        • 24: LOVE EACH OTHER AND ENJOY THE RIDE
      • 24: NATURAL DISASTERS, OIL AND DRIVE-THRUS >
        • 24: DTES - EYESORE OR OPPORTUNITY
    • POLITICS: COME FEEL THE NOISE >
      • THE PRESIDENT + CHILDREN TALKING
      • TRUMP VERSUS CANNABIS
      • WALL OR SHAG CARPETING
      • NO PLACE FOR POLITICS
      • 28 Questions about the Inauguration...
    • LOVE + SEX >
      • LOVESTRUCK
      • LADYBUG: HITCHING A RIDE
      • If it ends with a towel - it's not love
    • TRAVEL >
      • oh the places you'll go
      • Osoyoos
      • Border Wall
      • Greg from Germany Butts In
    • EXPERIMENTAL >
      • SOCIAL MEDIA - LOOK AT ME
      • Medium
      • I Was Scolded by a YouTube Book Reviewer
    • ASK SEED >
      • ASKED
      • bosom blues
      • jumbled conundrum
    • LISTS >
      • GO >
        • WORLD STATS
        • SEX?
        • CATS
      • WEATHER >
        • BC LIONS @ SASK
        • THE SPORTS PAGE
        • THE GOOD STUFF
    • WORLD >
      • NORTH AMERICA
      • Africa >
        • Africa Slides
      • Europe >
        • European Slides
        • Euro Trip - Oct 8 - Nov 7 - 2003
      • Asia >
        • Asia Slides
      • Oceania >
        • OCEANIA MAP
        • Oceania Slides
      • South America >
        • South America Slides
      • Central America >
        • Central America Slides
      • Caribbean >
        • CARIBBEAN MAP
        • Caribbean Slides
    • BE MY GUEST >
      • A fisherman and a Harvard MBA
      • what happens when you don't care
  • REVIEWS
    • i love it: 2021 >
      • i love it: page 1
      • i love it: page 2
      • i love it: page 3
    • TASTY
    • RECOMMENDED
    • YES - MAYBE - NO
    • ROCK BOTTOM
    • MY ULTIMATE BOOKS READ LIST
    • MY TOP 25 BOOKS
    • TO BE READ
    • i wrote >
      • Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories
      • BREAKFAST TELEVISION
  • FOOD
    • EAT: FAVORITES LISTS
    • L + J's Vancouver's Top Burgers
    • EATING DURING COVID
    • DRINKING DURING COVID
    • SUIKA
    • KOKOMO + THE JUICERY
    • TAKO: REVIEW OF A REVIEW
  • MUSIC
    • FAVOURITE MUSIC
    • FAVOURITE MOVIES + TELEVISION
    • MUSIC THEME CONTEST
    • NEXT SONG - MUSIC WAITING ROOM
  • TALK
    • Social
    • STORYBOARD >
      • i think
      • EVERYTHING
      • 24 Hours Template
      • images template
Time in Vancouver:

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MORE JAMES BAY

You have been dumped. Now what?

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - You!

You have been dumped for a new and improved model. However, you have decided “to remain friends.”

What good can come from being friends with someone who does not want you?

We have all heard the lies. “It’s not you, it’s me” or “My life is too complicated right now….”

Here is the skinny, my friends: your ex is trying to cover up their feelings of guilt.

When dumped, you have four choices:
​
  1. Buy self-help books.
  2. Tell your ex in many ways that you love them and want them in your life.
  3. Write your-ex poems expressing your undying love.*
  4. Get away and start healing yourself, have some rebound sex, join a gym, learn a new language or find some other activities to fill your time. Whatever you do, you must purge yourself of your ex.

In fact, unless you have children it is best to avoid all contact. That is if you want to develop into a better and more desirable human being. This is your time: you need to get your s*** together. There is a long road of recovery ahead before you will be ready for potential love in the future.

It is imperative not to jump into another relationship. Take this time and learn to like yourself. As scary as it may be, go out by yourself. You’ll be amazed at the adventures freedom can offer. Pursue your dreams. Learn to cook.

Staying single is even more imperative if you have gone through life jumping from relationship to relationship. Being a “serial monogamist” is not a skill.
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If you hope that you someday will reconnect with your ex, avoiding contact becomes vital. If you planned to avoid contact for six months, make it a year. If it was true love, this might be your only way to get it back.

Face it: you broke up and it was probably for a reason (or several reasons). In all likelihood, one or both of you need to change. That is, of course, unless you want the same relationship again.

If so, may I suggest repeatedly banging your head against a wall?

I have been a case study on this topic. I was dumped and thought remaining friends was the right decision. Minus the hugs, kisses and passion; can you imagine the torture?

Of course you can, we have all been there.

Remember this, when the hammer falls on your relationship - that is usually it. It does not matter if the other person is making a monumental mistake. No matter how much you love someone, you can’t force them to love you back.

* Ignore Number 3 - it is hard enough for poets to eke out a living, so they don’t need the competition from you, Mr. Lonely Pants.

lindsay wincherauk
august 8 - 2005

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THE 'SPARK' IS DISAPPEARING
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