Lindsay Wincherauk
  • LINDSAY
  • HELLO
  • Driving In Reverse
    • DIR: ABOUT THE AUTHOR
    • DIR: CONTENTS
    • DIR Preface
    • DIR: WHO'S IN THE BOOK
    • DIR: AUTHOR Q + A
    • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? >
      • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? CANADA
      • DIR: WHERE TO BUY? USA
      • DIR: SIGNED COPIES
    • DIR: WIN A COPY
    • DIR: EVENTS CALENDAR
    • DIR: ORDER MEDIA REVIEW COPIES
    • DIR: WHAT'S NEXT
    • DRIVING IN REVERSE: SNAPSHOTS >
      • PAGE 1
      • PAGE 2
      • PAGE 3
      • PAGE 4
      • PAGE 5
      • PAGE 6
      • PAGE 7
      • PAGE 8
      • PAGE 9
      • PAGE 10
      • PAGE 11
      • PAGE 12
      • PAGE 13
      • PAGE 14
      • PAGE 15
      • PAGE 16
      • PAGE 17
      • PAGE 18
      • PAGE 19
      • PAGE 20
      • PAGE 21
      • PAGE 22
      • PAGE 23
      • PAGE 24
      • PAGE 25
      • DIR CLIPPINGS >
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 2
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 3
        • DIR CLIPPINGS 4
  • STORIES
    • Poutine Pre-Drippings >
      • Important Note
    • LAUGH - C1: PSA + COMFORT ZONE + CLIPBOARD... >
      • C2: MARATHON + GARAGE SALE + TATTOO
      • C3: TRUMP + SAN JOSE + GUNS
      • C4: CYCLISTS + BRIDGE OVER + HAPPY 1st...
      • C5: MASTURBATION + PENIS PICTURES + LOVE MAKER
      • C6: CAT LADY + WHAT ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING + MY TATTOO
      • C7:
      • C8:
      • C9:
      • C10:
    • THE COURTS & THE HEARTHS - C1: HEADING EAST TO ADVENTURE >
      • C2: HAROLD COURT WASN'T ALWAYS A HEARTLESS PRICK
      • C3: PENELOPE COURT + THE VEILED TREE
      • C4: JARROD COURT - An Oddly Genuine Duck
      • C5:
      • C6:
      • C7:
      • C8:
      • C9:
      • C10:
    • MAYBE WHEN I HAVE GRANDCHILDREN - C1: VANCOUVER MED >
      • C2: GENERAL POPULATION
      • C3: BUCKET LIST
      • C4: NEXT OF KIN
      • C5: MONDAY WITH BERNIE
      • C6: PSA - HAPPY PILLS
      • C7: JEFFBO
      • C8: ALTHOUGH I AM CAUCASIAN
      • C9: YOU HAVE A GIRL'S NAME
      • C10: LET THE GOOD + BAD FOLLOW CLOSELY BEHIND IN THE BAGGAGE CAR
    • Seed's Life: 1-5 >
      • 2 DEAD – 3 INJURED – LIFE PLANS: CANCELLED
      • do i look like a senior - a story
      • 2016 WAS
    • PONDER THIS >
      • Random Thought or Suggestion
      • Seed's: Life Tip #1
    • BLACK SHORTS + THE DISSEMINATION OF SOCIAL MEDIA - C1: HOT LEGS >
      • C2: OVERDOSE
      • C3: TRANSITIONING
      • C4: PENIS COOKIES
      • C5: SCRATCH and SNIFF
      • C6: DEMON CHASER
      • C7: DEMON CAUGHT
      • C8: REBIRTH
      • C9: FHCK
      • C10: PURGATORY
    • LADYBUG: HITCHING A RIDE >
      • LOVESTRUCK
      • If it ends with a towel - it's not love
    • Blind Lady + Pants + Chicken + Mikes a... >
      • Just Don't Steal + I'm Not Chinese When I Drive
      • Panhandlers
      • ABAR
      • The Art of Human Interaction
    • TRAVEL >
      • Osoyoos
      • BC LIONS @ SASK
      • Border Wall
      • Greg from Germany Butts In
    • A CLIPBOARD PERSON MAY HAVE...
    • 24 HRS: A SHIRT'S TALE >
      • 24: NO EXCUSES FOR ALL THAT
      • DUMPED? GET SET FOR A NEW LIFE
      • THE ‘SPARK IS DISAPPEARING—WHAT DO YOU DO?
      • LOVE EACH OTHER, AND ENJOY THE RIDE
    • WALL OR SHAG CARPETING >
      • NO PLACE FOR POLITICS
      • 28 Questions about the Inauguration...
    • I Was Scolded by a YouTube Book Reviewer
    • ASK SEED >
      • jumbled conundrum
      • bosom blues
    • ARC
  • BOOKS
    • I LOVE IT >
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 1
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 2
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 3
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 4
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 5
      • I LOVE IT: PAGE 6
      • Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories >
        • BREAKFAST TELEVISION
    • TASTY >
      • TASTY: PAGE 1
      • TASTY: PAGE 2
      • TASTY: PAGE 3
    • RECOMMENDED >
      • REC: PAGE 1
      • REC: PAGE 2
      • REC: PAGE 3
    • YES - MAYBE - NO >
      • YES-NO-MAYBE: PAGE 2
    • ROCK BOTTOM >
      • I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL
  • WORLD
    • NORTH AMERICA
    • Africa >
      • Africa Slides
    • Europe >
      • European Slides
      • Euro Trip - Oct 8 - Nov 7 - 2003
    • Asia >
      • Asia Slides
    • Oceania >
      • OCEANIA MAP
      • Oceania Slides
    • South America >
      • South America Slides
    • Central America >
      • Central America Slides
    • Caribbean >
      • CARIBBEAN MAP
      • Caribbean Slides
  • FOOD PORN
    • IN DRIVING IN REVERSE
    • WESTCOAST + A BIT FINER
    • BURGERS +++
    • ASIAN INFLUENCES
    • NUTRITIOUS + DELICIOUS
    • COFFEE + DESSERTS + YUMMY
    • HOME COOKING
    • ARTICLES
    • OUT OF PROVINCE
    • KISSA TANTO >
      • FABLE
      • KOBOB BURGER + GIGI BLIN
    • RAILTOWN CAFE >
      • SUIKA
      • ROCO'S DINER
      • KOKOMO + THE JUICERY
      • TAKO: REVIEW OF A REVIEW
      • BESTIE + Johnny Rockets
  • LISTS
    • SEX?
    • CATS
    • WEATHER
    • THE SPORTS PAGE
    • THE GOOD STUFF
  • Social
    • Medium
    • Guest >
      • A fisherman and a Harvard MBA
      • what happens when you don't care
  • TALK
    • MUSIC ROOM >
      • MUSIC THEME CONTEST
    • STORYBOARD >
      • EVERYTHING
      • book review template
      • 24 Hours Template
      • images template
Time in Vancouver:

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JUST DON'T STEAL + I'M NOT CHINESE WHEN I DRIVE


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more talk talk

DF, is usually the first into the office.

This Monday was no different. DF, often tries small talk, as a way to...manipulate...us... his managers.

​Maybe he’s just being nice.

No, manipulative.

Constantly asking us about our home life – fishing for special treatment with questions about the weekend, mostly nothingness masked as interest.

MR. DISPATCH

​
Hey, DF, do you write the answers down?  ​
​
Maybe I’m just short with the mundane on Monday mornings.

MR. DISPATCH

DF, how was your visit with your family this weekend?

One would think a simple question.

DF

I didn’t get to see them much. The bus took 14-hours. It broke down.

MR. DISPATCH

That sucks.

The trip should be only 5 hours Google says.

DF

Yeah, 14 hours, stupid Chinese driver, the bus broke down, he tried to fix it himself.

MY TURN

Okay, DF, how do you know the driver was Chinese? Can you tell the subtle differences between Asian cultures? Fuck. 

DF

Okay, he’s Asian Canadian?

MY TURN

​
How do you know?

DF

Doesn’t matter, they’re all shitty drivers.

MY TURN

​
DF, wow... did you know when I make a bonehead driving manoeuvre, I’m not Chinese.

I don’t think he understood.

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WC is selected for a job. The job is literally two short straight lines from the office. About 30 minutes transit time. He is given a map. He’s taking a bad path in life.

2.5 hours later, he returns to the office.

WC

I couldn’t find the site.

I lecture him.

He doesn’t care.

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WC signs in for work. He boasts to the dispatcher that he got laid last night. I hear his bluster from my desk in the back office. I hold my opinion to myself.

He’s selected for a job. He’s driven to the site.

One hour later I answer the phone. The voice on the other end is pissed. WC disappeared from the site.

I hang up. I’m pissed. It’s time to cut WC loose – he’s doing more damage than good.
​
He’s been employed for one month and his record is being swallowed by restrictions. 

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WC signs in for work.

MR. DISPATCH

Maybe this isn’t the right fit for you. I don’t think we can employee you anymore.

WC

It’s not my fault. I told you I don’t like digging.

MR. DISPATCH

You need to look for work elsewhere.

WC

I told you I don’t like digging.

MY TURN

I leave the back office and move to the counter.

Here’s the thing WC: I heard everything you said yesterday. Nothing about digging – you bragged about getting laid.

WC

I was just kidding. That’s my sense of humour.

MY TURN

Well, it’s not funny. This is a place of business. Nobody fucking cares about your sexual conquests. It makes you sound stupid. There are 7.5 billion people on this planet. You’re not the first to get laid. You’re boasting is childish and boring.

WC

I was...

MY TURN

I don’t care. You’re an adult. We are about to end your employment. I’m not sure where lower will be for you.

WC

I used to be paid $25 per hour.

MY TURN

That’s not where you are now. I don’t know what issues you have going on in your life. I hope you get help. But if you keep fucking up, down is your only direction. We find you the work. It is your job step through the door we’ve opened for you – work – impress – make things better for yourself. Every time you fuck up, you make our jobs tougher, and you screw others out of work because we lose clients.

Silence

I return to my desk. The phone rings. A new client orders – 2 workers.
​
WC is selected. He works the full day. He’s asked back on Friday.

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WC comes in for his repeat. He's boast free.

I hope we don’t have to fire him next week. I hope the weekend doesn’t erase the insights he gained through tough love.

TIME TO DRIVE

SJ needs a ride. We’re down a driver. I pick up the slack.

SJ’s speedy. He kicks his conversation into gear.

SJ

Fuck, the site I was on yesterday, the weirdest thing happened. I was sent home. I... I... I... it was raining, hard. After my break I borrowed a raincoat. I returned to work. They... they... they... were watching me. I work hard. I work hard. I work... he, one of the, they, he... came up to me. He accused me of stealing his raincoat. I was wearing it. That’s not stealing. It upset me. I told him... no... I stressed... telling him... I take great pride in not stealing.

He stopped to breathe.

MY TURN

May I offer you a suggestion?

I can. Okay, here goes: Just don’t steal.

SJ

What?

MY TURN

Just don’t steal. Not stealing isn’t something to be proud of.

SJ

Since you put it that way... can you stop somewhere for me to get a coffee?

SJ began to slow down. His coherence was beginning to wane. Randomness began to control his words.

SJ

Red, sky, apples, whoa... going left. I’m not. Where’s things. White van... tractor.

MY TURN

You just said white van... oh my.

Coffee Stop – I drive a Blue Explorer – I park right in front of the door

SJ exits the store. He stumbles toward the Explorer. He veers right. Three paces later he looks left. Surprise adorns his face. He gets in.

I couldn’t find your vehicle.

Back in the Office

Mr. Dispatch asks DS if he’s looking for work.

DS

Not today, remember yesterday, I told you I’m having chest pains. Well, I’m still having them.

MR. DISPATCH

Go to the hospital. You don’t mess with that shit.

DS

I’m seeing my doctor on Tuesday.

MY TURN

DS, can I make a suggestion? Okay, good. Go to the fucking hospital. Time to wing it: You’re in a tricky demographic. 45 – 60 – is when people drop dead from heart attacks.

DS

I lost three friends in the last few months.

MY TURN

So, you know. Here’s the thing. When we’re in this age range it’s time to cast aside some of the things you did when in the midst of the invincibility of youth. When we hit this age range and we haven’t got a handle on nutrition as well as a sizable reduction in the consumption of vice... tick... tick... tick... not breathing. What makes matters worse: our mirrors have been lying to us for a long time... until the day you realize you’re no longer Teflon. And, those lying mirrors sometimes trick us into trying to get back youth – NOW - by jumping into unsustainable CROSS-ANYTHING... which also lead to fatal... as your heart strains with... Go to the fucking hospital. Don’t add your name to the number count.

He sat in silence.

TIME TO DRIVE

RJ and IK are in need of rides.

I like RJ. IK, I don’t know. RJ at times unpacks mind-numbing narratives. Today was to be one of those days.

Early in the drive he used the word exacerbated. He used it correctly. This brought a smile to my face.

MY TURN

RJ, that’s the first time that word has been said in this vehicle.  

Ten minutes into the ride RJ decided to share things that ravage his esteem.

RJ

My self-esteem takes a beating when gay guys hit on me.

MY TURN

What?

RJ

When gay guys hit on me, it upsets me. I feel less about myself.

MY TURN

Where the fuck, are you hanging out?

RJ

Especially, the ones that won’t take no for an answer... the aggressive ones; why would they think I’d be interested?

IK

If a gay guy hit on me I’d be flattered. I’d know I’m looking good.

RJ

Not for me. It makes me feel bad.

MY TURN

RJ, what you are suggesting doesn’t exist, unless of course, you’re in a known gay establishment. Even then... it takes a lot of guts to hit on someone. I am positive the gays don’t aggressively hit on strangers on the street. It doesn’t happen.

IK

Is it okay for guys to aggressively hit on women? Women are constantly bombarded with advances from Neanderthals.

MY TURN

One trillion to one – those are the numbers of times women are hit on aggressively compared to the one straight guy who believes he is so desirable to gay men that the ones with the biggest stones will step out of insecurity to risk safety to... doesn’t happen... okay a trillion times to one. And besides, why the fuck would it impact your esteem? Don’t answer. Evolve.

RJ

My esteem also takes a beating when fat girls hit on me. Why would they think I’d be interested? It upsets me.

I put on my Chinese mask. I began guffawing.

MY TURN

White Van

DAYS END - UNWINDING AT HOME

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Click on MSN

FIRST STORY

US Launches missiles at Syrian air base after chemical weapon attack

The Pres. was horrified by the pictures of innocent children dying after the attack. This horror resulted in action. “They crossed many lines...” he said.

Really... you’re in your 70(s), it took you this fucking long to realize many lines are being crossed every day. {_____} I couldn’t type what I think of him. He disgusts.

Are the surviving children allowed to come to safety?

The world knows your answer. If the world is right: you feigning heartache was shallow.

SECOND STORY

British Dad Fined for Taking Daughter Out of School for Disney World Trip

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THIS SITE IS BEST VIEWED ON A DESKTOP OR IN WEB MODE
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5 Editorial Reviews
73 Reader Reviews
​(4.60 out of 5 Stars)
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21: 4-STARS 
2: 3-STARS
1: 1-STAR
1: BLAST 
FROM THE PAST
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1._ar_jan_30-_2019.pdf
File Size: 2198 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

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BLACK SHORTS
A DYSTOPIAN REAL-LIFE LOOK AT FRIENDSHIP
LADYBUG: HITCHING A RIDE
A LOVE STORY FROM A BUG'S PERSPECTIVE
KISSA TANTO
RICH VERSUS POOR + A GOOD MEAL
MAYBE WHEN I HAVE GRANDCHILDREN
SURVIVING A STROKE
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DO A SOLID MAKE A MONTHLY DONATION 

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MY FIRST BOOK 

ACCLAIMED
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Lindsay wincherauk


HELLO
DRIVING IN REVERSE
STORIES
ARC
BOOKS
WORLD
LISTS
FOOD + DRINK
SOCIAL
TALK

The Unedited Words of A FIRST READER - A Friend - And a co-worker



I see you as a mix-master or DJ selecting different life tracks, in clips, sound bites, jazz riffs, refrains (memories of spoken words, phrases) to broadcast on your show. You play with this idiom a lot in your book and directly reference it: ending with PLAY. It really works well and you definitely capitalize on it and make the reading experience fun and exciting.



I know you will be a great writer, and really, you already are. You write from your heart and that is rare these days.



You are one of the most interesting guys that I have ever met. You intrigue me!​


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about me
contents
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preface
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q + a
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where to buy

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media copies
what's next
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NOTE: Send me an email: lindsaywin@outlook.com

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Since February 7 - 2017
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