My publisher asked me to submit my thoughts on the “disease” of trying to create the perfect life image on Instagram compared to being yourself to a major online magazine.
Apparently, my Instagram is beginning to “Given your great Instagram account…” influence.
So, here goes:
Apparently, my Instagram is beginning to “Given your great Instagram account…” influence.
So, here goes:
Why Instagramming normal life is actually better for you?
For me the answer is simple.
On one hand, if you are so focused on posting your fantasy life, your "dream board" if you will, then you are likely guilty of missing out on what you are trying to portray to your followers, a dream life. It’s too much-bleeping pressure to keep up the illusion of perfection. I’ll give an example.
A friend who recently travelled to Panama with her partner, upon returning asked me, “Did you see my vacation pictures?”
I had, but replied, “No.”
She fired back, “You’re on Instagram, aren’t you?” She knew I was.
To which I replied, “Yes.” I then asked her, “What’s the last thing I posted?”
She looked at me with a lost look on her face.
The point is: she was on vacation and desperately trying to convey a perfect trip. Her need to paint the perfect picture, to a group of people, who most of us, likely don’t care, and have all seen pictures of beaches and waterfalls and mountains and bars and—at absurdum, are far too busy posting our own “perfect lives” in the hopes of validation, only caring about our own likes, as we scroll robotically clicking “like” hoping desperately the insipid likes are returned.
On one hand, if you are so focused on posting your fantasy life, your "dream board" if you will, then you are likely guilty of missing out on what you are trying to portray to your followers, a dream life. It’s too much-bleeping pressure to keep up the illusion of perfection. I’ll give an example.
A friend who recently travelled to Panama with her partner, upon returning asked me, “Did you see my vacation pictures?”
I had, but replied, “No.”
She fired back, “You’re on Instagram, aren’t you?” She knew I was.
To which I replied, “Yes.” I then asked her, “What’s the last thing I posted?”
She looked at me with a lost look on her face.
The point is: she was on vacation and desperately trying to convey a perfect trip. Her need to paint the perfect picture, to a group of people, who most of us, likely don’t care, and have all seen pictures of beaches and waterfalls and mountains and bars and—at absurdum, are far too busy posting our own “perfect lives” in the hopes of validation, only caring about our own likes, as we scroll robotically clicking “like” hoping desperately the insipid likes are returned.
Painting perfect, takes effort, if it subtracts from what’s important: living, escaping the screen, nurturing relationships and sharing human interaction: What’s the point? None of your followers gives a rat’s behind, about you, unless you are a celebrity. And, I’ll repeat, even then, none of your followers gives a--
In my opinion: my friend needed to be on vacation. Plus, part of a friend being on vacation is having a vacation from them. Life is far more exciting when everything isn’t reported in real time. It adds colour. It gives us something to share. Online may reach more people, but in reality: it doesn’t.
On the other hand, you can’t escape Social Media, I am abundantly aware of that fact. I am trying to promote my memoir, Driving in Reverse – The Life I Almost Missed in a world that is becoming increasingly OCD by the minute. We click without looking, just because.
I must participate. But I like my participation to evolve organically with a large helping of I don’t care. When I first learned to ski, I finally stopped falling when I quit looking at the skis.
My Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/drivinginreverse/ is growing at a rapid pace. And, I don’t care. By saying “I don’t care” may have put a halt on rapid. And, I don’t care. A huge chunk of my life is in the literary world, and of course, I want as many people as possible to read my writings. I believe my writing is relatable to all. Having said that, I believe it is important to let it flow naturally, and when someone responds, I try to respond in kind. I’m lucky, I have a dear friend (Jay Lee) who loves my writing, he helps me with my Instagram posts. He does a stellar job. He loves doing it. His efforts help me escape into a Vacation when I’m on Vacation. ZERO screen time. I know you’ve all seen a beach before.
Ed Sheeran seems to be in-tune with the necessity to disappear. He dropped Social Media for a year to escape the screen. If you are trying to paint the perfect life, I don’t know if you can ever escape from the delusion.
In my opinion: my friend needed to be on vacation. Plus, part of a friend being on vacation is having a vacation from them. Life is far more exciting when everything isn’t reported in real time. It adds colour. It gives us something to share. Online may reach more people, but in reality: it doesn’t.
On the other hand, you can’t escape Social Media, I am abundantly aware of that fact. I am trying to promote my memoir, Driving in Reverse – The Life I Almost Missed in a world that is becoming increasingly OCD by the minute. We click without looking, just because.
I must participate. But I like my participation to evolve organically with a large helping of I don’t care. When I first learned to ski, I finally stopped falling when I quit looking at the skis.
My Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/drivinginreverse/ is growing at a rapid pace. And, I don’t care. By saying “I don’t care” may have put a halt on rapid. And, I don’t care. A huge chunk of my life is in the literary world, and of course, I want as many people as possible to read my writings. I believe my writing is relatable to all. Having said that, I believe it is important to let it flow naturally, and when someone responds, I try to respond in kind. I’m lucky, I have a dear friend (Jay Lee) who loves my writing, he helps me with my Instagram posts. He does a stellar job. He loves doing it. His efforts help me escape into a Vacation when I’m on Vacation. ZERO screen time. I know you’ve all seen a beach before.
Ed Sheeran seems to be in-tune with the necessity to disappear. He dropped Social Media for a year to escape the screen. If you are trying to paint the perfect life, I don’t know if you can ever escape from the delusion.
How do you manage your relationship with Instagram?
By limiting the amount of time spent on the platform. At most, one post per day. The post must be about my writing or a book I’m reading or have read. There is no glitz, however; I like the photos to have a certain feel (Jay handles most of that). And, if there are responses, I try to respond to each one, briefly.
What are the costs and benefits of only posting the highlights?
I believe the costs of only posting highlights is unsustainable. The pressure too immense.
The benefits, unless you are living by the mantra “shallow attracts shallow” – I don’t see the point. My friend’s picture of her and her partner sitting in a waterfall in Panama isn’t interesting, the waterfall will always be there – the waterfall is the star – not the person invading its stage. The waterfall needs to be enjoyed at the moment. I don’t think enjoyment comes from rushing to a screen and clicking “post.”
How can someone who struggles to present a realistic persona on Instagram refocus on objectives that lead to greater fulfilment?
By asking the question: who am I posting this for?
If the answer is for validation or my followers want it, that’s bullshit. You are “I” -centric.
The only answer I believe that would lead to fulfilment: I’m posting this because I like posting. I see something that may be of interest to others. Better yet, if the post prompts discussion.
I learned this lesson by writing. If you write only about “I” – it’s likely boring. But if your writing is larger than self, you might be onto something.
In the long run, I don’t believe fulfilment and Social Media can share the same room.
What are the costs and benefits of only posting the highlights?
I believe the costs of only posting highlights is unsustainable. The pressure too immense.
The benefits, unless you are living by the mantra “shallow attracts shallow” – I don’t see the point. My friend’s picture of her and her partner sitting in a waterfall in Panama isn’t interesting, the waterfall will always be there – the waterfall is the star – not the person invading its stage. The waterfall needs to be enjoyed at the moment. I don’t think enjoyment comes from rushing to a screen and clicking “post.”
How can someone who struggles to present a realistic persona on Instagram refocus on objectives that lead to greater fulfilment?
By asking the question: who am I posting this for?
If the answer is for validation or my followers want it, that’s bullshit. You are “I” -centric.
The only answer I believe that would lead to fulfilment: I’m posting this because I like posting. I see something that may be of interest to others. Better yet, if the post prompts discussion.
I learned this lesson by writing. If you write only about “I” – it’s likely boring. But if your writing is larger than self, you might be onto something.
In the long run, I don’t believe fulfilment and Social Media can share the same room.
What societal trends do you see with trying to live a life that's Instagram worthy?
On the positive side, without question, it may be bringing people out of their shells.
The negative: at what cost?
I find the people I know, who are desperately trying to create an online life are somewhat delusional. Many of them have grandiose ideas of how much influence they really have.
Here’s a Twitter example:
“Lindsay, I’m so glad the World Cup (Soccer) is over and we can get back to real football.”
“Okay.”
“I tweeted that out to my followers today.”
“You have followers. And, these followers you have were waiting by their screens for your thoughts on the end of the World Cup? I don’t understand.”
“You’re too old to get it.”
“I get it: You have followers?”
Instagram and Social Media is like drugs, the first hit may bring a euphoric high, leaving you wanting more, so; you chase and chase and chase, but at what expense?
I’m afraid for many, the ultimate cost may be the relationships most important to them. Until one day:
“Lindsay, did you see our vacation pictures.”
“No.”
The negative: at what cost?
I find the people I know, who are desperately trying to create an online life are somewhat delusional. Many of them have grandiose ideas of how much influence they really have.
Here’s a Twitter example:
“Lindsay, I’m so glad the World Cup (Soccer) is over and we can get back to real football.”
“Okay.”
“I tweeted that out to my followers today.”
“You have followers. And, these followers you have were waiting by their screens for your thoughts on the end of the World Cup? I don’t understand.”
“You’re too old to get it.”
“I get it: You have followers?”
Instagram and Social Media is like drugs, the first hit may bring a euphoric high, leaving you wanting more, so; you chase and chase and chase, but at what expense?
I’m afraid for many, the ultimate cost may be the relationships most important to them. Until one day:
“Lindsay, did you see our vacation pictures.”
“No.”
