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SEED'S SKETCHY RELATIONSHIP THEORIESLindsay WINCHERAUK + Greg MAGAS4.6 OUT OF 5 Stars
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How it CAME to be:
When I was penning Seed’s Sketchy Relationships Theories, back in 2002ish, I was in a decadently sketchy relationship. I believed it was true love. It was a party. Love was there; perhaps?
After countless years bartending (countless is an overused description), okay, approximately 20, teamed with years of athletics, many sticky nights - I felt I had a firm grasp of the male/female dynamic. I decided jotting down my outlandish theories would lead me to fame and fortune. I cranked out page-after-page without direction. I enlisted the help of my good friend Greg Magas to co-write, but more important, act as my editor.
When it came to my ideas, I was a bully. Who needs editing?
He tried… I resisted. Rushing the book to press was more important than breaking up a 3-page sentence. It was the thoughts that were important. He tried to slow me down; to no avail. I won. The book came out. The theories are strong. The writing, well, crap; I should have listened to Greg; maybe next time?
The book garnered interest. I was a guest on several radio stations as well as Breakfast Television in Vancouver (click here to watch the interview).
The book sold reasonably well. Despite my shaky writing prose it even received favourable reviews (scroll down) - the majority of them 5 Stars.
At any rate, take a peak. I have attached the first chapter below. Feel free buy a copy. Tell others.
To buy a copy: simply click on the BOOK COVER on this page.
Thanks for your time!
After countless years bartending (countless is an overused description), okay, approximately 20, teamed with years of athletics, many sticky nights - I felt I had a firm grasp of the male/female dynamic. I decided jotting down my outlandish theories would lead me to fame and fortune. I cranked out page-after-page without direction. I enlisted the help of my good friend Greg Magas to co-write, but more important, act as my editor.
When it came to my ideas, I was a bully. Who needs editing?
He tried… I resisted. Rushing the book to press was more important than breaking up a 3-page sentence. It was the thoughts that were important. He tried to slow me down; to no avail. I won. The book came out. The theories are strong. The writing, well, crap; I should have listened to Greg; maybe next time?
The book garnered interest. I was a guest on several radio stations as well as Breakfast Television in Vancouver (click here to watch the interview).
The book sold reasonably well. Despite my shaky writing prose it even received favourable reviews (scroll down) - the majority of them 5 Stars.
At any rate, take a peak. I have attached the first chapter below. Feel free buy a copy. Tell others.
To buy a copy: simply click on the BOOK COVER on this page.
Thanks for your time!
SEED'S SKETCHY RELATIONSHIP THEORIES
A GUIDE TO THE PERILS OF DATING
(HOW NOT TO BECOME A BAR REGULAR)
Your mother is probably lying to you
How to get dates or pickup lines don't work
We attract what we can afford
If you are hot find something to excel at
Power Money and Fame
You must learn how to be alone
Girls want the bad boy
Most attractive women are attention whores
Hot girls may fuck the bartender but they're not staying for the long term
Life's troubles don't build character - they reveal it
There is no such thing as security
We've been through so much together
Plus many more..
How to get dates or pickup lines don't work
We attract what we can afford
If you are hot find something to excel at
Power Money and Fame
You must learn how to be alone
Girls want the bad boy
Most attractive women are attention whores
Hot girls may fuck the bartender but they're not staying for the long term
Life's troubles don't build character - they reveal it
There is no such thing as security
We've been through so much together
Plus many more..
WHAT THE FIRST mostly fictious READERS SAID
This is one of the greatest literary works of the century. I believe it will save a lot of troubled relationships. I know if I had only received this wealth of information sooner, I would still be alive on the inside.
Bill (a broken bar regular in Chicago)
I read this book cover to cover several times and each and every time I was actually riveted by the sheer passion and intensity. Every time I would rush home and give Harry a little something, something, to show how I really feel about him. I knew Seed was gifted when I read his early work and actually, I believe I am responsible for a great deal of the success he is receiving now. I made him who he is today.
Mrs. Grant (Seed’s grade 5 English teacher)
Hey!!!
You cut me off jerk.
Dick (an angry motorist)
Well it took me a while but I finally was given the time to read it and it is GOOD! An entertaining read with realistic, useful information. My favorite line is: They have their own bars… why can’t they have their own book?
You have a winner here and now is time to unleash it on the world whether they can handle it or not.
W
It is a great honor to be accepting this award. I had some stiff competition from such words as fuck, a, and, attention, girl, boy, woman and period, along with thousands of other words that were in the running. As for the words on and in … you came close! At this time I would also like to thank….
The word “This” (accepting an achievement award)
Wonderful collection of stories and inspiration! 5 STARS
This book is a wonderful collection of stories twisted out of a lifetime. Seed (& Euro-Seed) have set out a story of a person's life... and delivered it through a series of anecdotal true tales. If I did not know this person and recognize a number of the actual stories and characters, I would assume this book to be in the fiction section... and besides, who could argue with someone who uses the words "cancerous leper" to describe a "friend"!
Nice work. Great, fun, laugh out loud (and cry in private), reflection on life, love, and friendships..
*THE* most unusual relationship book you'll ever read... 5 STARS
I received an email from the authors of this book ("Seed" & "German Seed") asking if I would be interested in reviewing it: Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide To The Perils Of Dating (How Not To Become A Bar Regular). This is definitely one of the most unusual, funny, raw, thought-provoking books I've read in a long time.
Seed (aka Lindsay Wincherauk) expounds on his views of the male/female relationship dynamic, and he pulls absolutely no punches in letting you know how he feels and what you should be doing in order to give yourself the best chance of finding true love and happiness when it comes to discovering that special someone. That's the broad brush to what the book is about. *How* he says it all is what makes this unique...
If you wanted to give this a serious review critique, you'd have a field day. It's a self-published effort, so forget about proper grammar, editing, and sometimes even spell-checking. And if you're offended by the use of the word "f**k", you'll only have to get over it 290 times. Seriously. It's stream-of -consciousness writing with plenty of rabbit trails, asides, stand-up comedy, and politically incorrect observations.
And I really liked it.
The same traits that would drive your high school English teacher to drink make this book very "real". Seed has gone through more in a couple of years than most of us encounter in a lifetime. But rather than wallow in his own misery, he learned from the experiences and came out pretty much the better for it. He's not perfect, and he doesn't always successfully practice what he preaches. But there's no problem admitting that. He minces no words when it comes to labeling people, and I will guarantee there will be a number of people offended by those labels. But in reality, those people do exist, and things would probably run a lot smoother if we stopped telling ourselves otherwise. If you're trying to understand how relationships work in today's world, this will give you a view and input I promise you won't hear from Dr. Phil or anyone else.
Because there is so much "writing as conversation" going on here, some parts work much better than others. You may find Seed going from first to third person and back again in the same paragraph. You'll get a number of totally unveiled pleadings to check out their website and buy stuff. Some might find it all a bit much. I personally found myself turning each page just to see where he'd head to next. I don't need the relationship advice, as I've been married for over 20 years. But from a sheer reading perspective, I loved it...
This is a book that you'll either love or hate... I really liked it, but your mileage may vary.
Wise, Wicked, Hilarious and Genuinely Sensitive Guide! 5 STARS
"The Seed & German Seed" may be just preposterous pseudonyms for now, but with the publication of this unique, immensely readable book the true authors hopefully will step forward for a much-deserved bow!
SEED'S SKETCHY RELATIONSHIP THEORIES: A GUIDE TO THE PERILS OF DATING [HOW NOT TO BECOME A BAR REGULAR] is a long title that even in its length doesn't even begin to suggest what is in store for the curious, open minded reader. This is not a 'self-help' or a 'how to' manual: Seed and German Seed have taken a long look at our present world condition, with a special emphasis on individual evaluation and interaction with the universe, and have come up with some very thoughtful ideas and precepts by which the reader can jump in and start over at this bizarre process we call living.
Starting out with ways in which we can alter our priorities to focus more on the preparation of our inner (and outer) self, Seed offers constructive advice without preaching. One aspect that may alter the way some readers approach the wisdom contained in this book is Seed's excessive use of a particular expletive. But as he explains so soundly, language is what it is and to fancify words can at times alter the wholeness of the concept - and certainly the comedy to be found in living life honestly.
Other reviewers have singled out portions of this book as favorites - an enviable task I find difficult at best! - but there is one recurring area that deserves special attention: Seed's manifesto about gay folk is sensitive and wise and well written even for the most committed phobic folk. He does this with high comedy (lists for women to use to determine if their men have proclivities versus full time commitment) all the while reassuring everyone that we all need is to live and let live and take care of our own variations of normal before raising the hatchet toward those of others.
After about two thirds of the way through this entertaining and at times illuminating book the authors lose focus and the last third feels a bit like a stand-up comic filling time. But in these pages are also suggestions that there will be more works from this duo coming down the pike and the pathways they are choosing sound most intriguing.
Get ready for a good time, put away your censorship for toilet mouthed humor, and open your mind (and yes, heart) to the shenanigans herein. It is a fine piece of work!
Seeds of Greatness! 5 STARS
I bought this book on a whim, and couldn't have been more pleased.
It's absolutely genre-defying, ranging from self-help to scathing social commentary to a stream-of-consciousness exploration of seemingly random topics that combine to deliver a thought-provoking how-to on living--and loving--your life.
At times, author Seed lays himself bare. I loved the messenger transcripts with an ex-lover, juxtaposing his present, positive worldview with his previous emotional neediness to great effect. The man has clearly taken his own advice.
But it's Seed's razor-sharp-wit, self-deprecating and utterly un-PC---that really sets this book apart. More than once, I found myself thinking, "Did he actually just say that?" while realizing that once again, I was laughing out loud.
Highly recommended!
How old is the author?? 1 STAR
Here we go again. I'm getting bored of "authors" who talk like teenagers. Others described this book as controversial (the-old-how-do-you-know-it's-offensive-trick), offensive, and "politically incorrect" (which usually means women are the target).
Shock value blah blah blah... This kind of writing is actually quite mainstream-ever watch: TV?
Most of the points the "author" makes will be obvious insights for the average reader who has spent any amount of time thinking of others. Perhaps the best guides for how to behave around men/women comes from the accounts of happily married couples anyway; ya think?
READCHAPTER1BELOW
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